Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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