so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
