Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
