i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
