and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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