After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Randomize
