We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
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Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I deserve this hangover.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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