Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
