Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
