Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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