Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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