I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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