They should really pass out barf bags in church
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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