Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
