I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Randomize
