the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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