She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
