i jhust puked up my retainher.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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