Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
