yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
