belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I need to sanitize my soul.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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