Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
