one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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