I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
