Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
