Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
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Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
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This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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