Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize