Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize