At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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