her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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