Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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