Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize