Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
