The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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