well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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