She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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