...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
