i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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