Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
smell my finger.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
