I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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