"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
