who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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