living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
