I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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