so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
