We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize