Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just high enough for therapy.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Randomize
