Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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