I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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