I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
