coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
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I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
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I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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