So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Someone shit on the floor
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
