Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
