he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
