they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
