I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I will be naked everywhere
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
