you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
