i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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