If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize