Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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