How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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