8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
