Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
