Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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