Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
