in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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