Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
