Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
